Im sorry i havent been on here in ages, so many things happening that you cannot be here for. Its so painful to only be able to write on here. I want to be able experience them with you, Liv turned 1, you'd love her so much dad, shes gorgeous and such a good girl, i can tell shes a cancerian like you, so laid back. And now Ruby has started pre school. She looks so grown up, i cried my eyes out. Im gonna miss her so much, but i know shes gonna love it. If you were here, you'd tell me how proud you are and that its all ok. I have to imagine you saying it now and thats not good enough for me. It never will be, but thats all i have. I hate that you have to miss all these things and i hate that the girls have lost the best grandad in the world. I love you lots and always. Lau xxxxxxxx