Ive not been on here for a while dad, im sorry. I dreaded Christmas without you and didnt want to leave 2009. I know when i last saw you, you were so poorly, but you were still my lovely dad and just your "hello Lauz" made me light up inside. I got through christmas just for the girls and visited the grave to lay a wreath and a poem from me and Hay. I know you'd tut and say youre not there but i had to do something and really wasnt sure what. I know your spirit isnt there dad, but those arms that cuddled me so tight are there, and it feels like a tease that i cant get close to you. You are so special to me and i hope i make you proud. I love you lots xxxxxxxxxxx